Ceremony in Place of Kaddish: 3/17/2020

Over the generations, our Sages have suggested many ways to help commemorate the memory of our loved ones. One central practice is the recitation of Kaddish. However, when one is unable to recite Kaddish, other potent options are also available.

It is traditional to learn Mishna in honor of the soul. This can be seen in the word Mishna משנה which contains the same letters as נשמה, the soul. Prayer is also powerful; and, of course giving tzedakah as well. Therefore, each day we will be offering this ceremony, which incorporates all three, to stand in place of Kaddish--until our daily minyan resumes. Of course, you should still daven three times a day, and are encouraged to join our daily Mincha-Maariv call-in, which will incorporate a Kel Maleh/Memorial prayer for the Yahrtzeits of the day as well as a Dvar Torah.

Open the service with a prayer (listed below) and Tehillim. Each day we will provide a different Mishna with brief commentary and guiding questions. Read the Mishna, in either English or Hebrew… or both, and review the commentary. If it so interests you, answer the guiding questions as well. Then, set aside any amount of money for tzedakah in honor of your loved one.
May these important mitzvot provide an עילוי נשמה, an elevation of the soul, for your loved one and help all of Am Yisrael and the world in these difficult times.

Order of the Service

Preliminary Prayer
May my prayer, Torah learning, and tzedakah stand in the merit of _______________ b. ________________ (add the Hebrew name and the Hebrew name of their father).

1. Tehillim (Psalm 23)
מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד ה' רֹעִי לֹא אֶחְסָר. בִּנְאוֹת דֶּשֶׁא יַרְבִּיצֵנִי עַל-מֵי מְנֻחוֹת יְנַהֲלֵנִי. נַפְשִׁי יְשׁוֹבֵב יַנְחֵנִי בְמַעְגְּלֵי-צֶדֶק לְמַעַן שְׁמוֹ. גַּם כִּי אֵלֵךְ בְּגֵיא צַלְמָוֶת לֹא-אִירָא רָע כִּי אַתָּה עִמָּדִי. שִׁבְטְךָ וּמִשְׁעַנְתֶּךָ הֵמָּה יְנַחֲמֻנִי. תַּעֲרֹךְ לְפָנַי שֻׁלְחָן נֶגֶד צֹרְרָי. דִּשַּׁנְתָּ בַשֶּׁמֶן רֹאשִׁי כּוֹסִי רְוָיָה. אַךְ טוֹב וָחֶסֶד יִרְדְּפוּנִי כָּל-יְמֵי חַיָּי. וְשַׁבְתִּי בְּבֵית ה' לְאֹרֶךְ יָמִים.

A song of David: The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not lack. God causes me to lie down in lush pastures, God leads me beside tranquil waters. God restores my soul, and leads me in righteous paths for God’s name’s sake. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your scepter and staff, they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in full view of my adversaries; You have anointed my head with oil, my cup overflows. May only goodness and kindness pursue me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the House of the Lord for length of days.

2. Mishna Learning (Chapters of the Fathers 1, 3)
אַנְטִיגְנוֹס אִישׁ סוֹכוֹ קִבֵּל מִשִּׁמְעוֹן הַצַּדִּיק. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אַל תִּהְיוּ כַעֲבָדִים הַמְשַׁמְּשִׁין אֶת הָרַב עַל מְנָת לְקַבֵּל פְּרָס, אֶלָּא הֱווּ כַעֲבָדִים הַמְשַׁמְּשִׁין אֶת הָרַב שֶׁלֹּא עַל מְנָת לְקַבֵּל פְּרָס, וִיהִי מוֹרָא שָׁמַיִם עֲלֵיכֶם:

Antigonus, a man of Socho, received [the oral tradition] from Shimon the Righteous. He used to say: do not be like servants who serve the master in the expectation of receiving a reward, but be like servants who serve the master without the expectation of receiving a reward, and let the fear of Heaven be upon you.

Q: If I can’t serve HaShem without the desire to receive some sort of benefit or reward, is my service unworthy?

A: Of course not! Judaism is not an all or nothing religion. This source points to the ideal level of worship, where we serve without expectation of reward or punishment.

The hope is that through this service one will eventually arrive at a higher level of worship. What is this higher level? In this state, love of reward and fear of punishment are replaced with genuine appreciation of and reverence for HaShem (Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Yesodei HaTorah 2, 2; Mesilat Yesharim ch. 24).

In Hasidic literature, this level is defined not as a servant but rather as a child. In an ideal state, a child loves and appreciates their parents and wants to help and serve them out of love. Similarly, at this level fear of punishment is replaced with reverence and genuine respect.

This enhanced level of worship may be alluded to in the conclusion of Antigonus’ directive: “and let the fear of Heaven be upon you” (see Tos. Yom Tov). Maimonides famously lays out the path to arriving at this level by means of observing nature: “What is the path to attain love and fear of God? When a person contemplates His wondrous and great deeds and creations and appreciates His infinite wisdom that surpasses all comparison, he will immediately love, praise, and glorify Him, yearning with tremendous desire to know God's great name, as David stated: "My soul thirsts for the Lord, for the living God" (Psalms 42:3).

Surely the discipline of astronomy and the deep reverence it engenders, i.e. the “fear of Heaven” mentioned in Antigonus’ words, is included in these “wondrous and great deeds and creations” that we are asked to observe. Thus, one could read Antigonus’ words in the following manner: while it is okay to serve HaShem for personal benefit, one must always strive for higher levels of worship. These levels can be achieved through observing nature and the heavens above.

May we merit to elevate our fear, especially in these trying and fearful times, to true fear of Heaven and may we all experience the love “and thirst for the Lord” so eloquently described in Maimonides’ words.

Q: Why did Antoginus use the word פרס to depict reward instead of the commonly used שכר?

A: פרס alludes to a prize. Perhaps, and this is a different direction than what was just listed, it is perfectly okay to serve HaShem for reward שכר. This is based on our belief in HaShem’s faithfulness to reward those who live a Torah life. What is discouraged here, however, is the service of HaShem for an extra prize--when one expects to receive more than one deserves. To be sure, HaShem does “give out” unconditional “prizes” and blessings. Nevertheless, expecting these can lead to complacency and a diminished work ethic, which is not the Torah way.

Q: What else can the final words of Antigonus teach us?

A: One might take Antigonus’ opening statement to the extreme and come to the conclusion that there is no reward and punishment. Therefore, his final statement comes to temper this, reminding us to not forget fear of HaShem, our just and faithful God.

Points to ponder:
  • Do all lower forms of service necessarily lead to higher levels?
  • Which forms of “lower” service do you think might be a hindrance to these enhanced levels of connection?
3. Tzedakah
Set aside tzedakah in memory and in the merit of your loved one.
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