Ceremony in Place of Kaddish: 3/31/2020

3/31/2020

Over the generations, our Sages have suggested many ways to help commemorate the memory of our loved ones. One central practice is the recitation of Kaddish. However, when one is unable to recite Kaddish, other potent options are also available.

It is traditional to learn Mishna in honor of the soul. This can be seen in the word Mishna משנה which contains the same letters as נשמה, the soul. Prayer is also powerful; and, of course giving tzedakah as well. Therefore, each day we will be offering this ceremony, which incorporates all three, to stand in place of kaddish--until our daily minyan resumes. Of course, you should still daven three times a day, and are encouraged to join our daily Mincha-Maariv call-in, which will incorporate a Kel Maleh/Memorial prayer for the Yahrtzeits of the day as well as a Dvar Torah.

Open the service with a prayer (listed below) and Tehillim. Each day we will provide a different Mishna with brief commentary and guiding questions. Read the Mishna, in either English or Hebrew… or both, and review the commentary. If it so interests you, answer the guiding questions as well. Then, set aside any amount of money for tzedakah in honor of your loved one.

May these important mitzvot provide an עילוי נשמה, an elevation of the soul, for your loved one and help all of Am Yisrael and the world in these difficult times.

Order of the Service

Preliminary Prayer

May my prayer, Torah learning, and tzedakah stand in the merit of _______________ b. ________________ (add the Hebrew name and the Hebrew name of their father).

Tehillim (Psalm 41)

לַמְנַצֵּ֗חַ מִזְמ֥וֹר לְדָוִֽד׃ אַ֭שְׁרֵי מַשְׂכִּ֣יל אֶל־דָּ֑ל בְּי֥וֹם רָ֝עָ֗ה יְֽמַלְּטֵ֥הוּ ה'׃ ה' יִשְׁמְרֵ֣הוּ וִֽ֭יחַיֵּהוּ יאשר (וְאֻשַּׁ֣ר) בָּאָ֑רֶץ וְאַֽל־תִּ֝תְּנֵ֗הוּ בְּנֶ֣פֶשׁ אֹֽיְבָֽיו׃ ה' יִ֭סְעָדֶנּוּ עַל־עֶ֣רֶשׂ דְּוָ֑י כָּל־מִ֝שְׁכָּב֗וֹ הָפַ֥כְתָּ בְחָלְיֽוֹ׃ אֲֽנִי־אָ֭מַרְתִּי ה' חָנֵּ֑נִי רְפָאָ֥ה נַ֝פְשִׁ֗י כִּֽי־חָטָ֥אתִי לָֽךְ׃ אֽוֹיְבַ֗י יֹֽאמְר֣וּ רַ֣ע לִ֑י מָתַ֥י יָ֝מ֗וּת וְאָבַ֥ד שְׁמֽוֹ׃ וְאִם־בָּ֤א לִרְא֨וֹת שָׁ֤וְא יְדַבֵּ֗ר לִבּ֗וֹ יִקְבָּץ־אָ֥וֶן ל֑וֹ יֵצֵ֖א לַח֣וּץ יְדַבֵּֽר׃ יַ֗חַד עָלַ֣י יִ֭תְלַֽחֲשׁוּ כָּל־שֹֽׂנְאָ֑י עָלַ֓י יַחְשְׁב֖וּ רָעָ֣ה לִֽי׃ דְּֽבַר־בְּ֭לִיַּעַל יָצ֣וּק בּ֑וֹ וַֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר שָׁ֝כַ֗ב לֹֽא־יוֹסִ֥יף לָקֽוּם׃ גַּם־אִ֤ישׁ שְׁלוֹמִ֨י אֲשֶׁר־בָּטַ֣חְתִּי ב֭וֹ אוֹכֵ֣ל לַחְמִ֑י הִגְדִּ֖יל עָלַ֣י עָקֵֽב׃ וְאַתָּ֤ה ה' חָנֵּ֥נִי וַֽהֲקִימֵ֑נִי וַֽאֲשַׁלְּמָ֥ה לָהֶֽם׃ בְּזֹ֣את יָ֭דַעְתִּי כִּֽי־חָפַ֣צְתָּ בִּ֑י כִּ֤י לֹֽא־יָרִ֖יעַ אֹֽיְבִ֣י עָלָֽי׃ וַֽאֲנִ֗י בְּ֭תֻמִּי תָּמַ֣כְתָּ בִּ֑י וַתַּצִּיבֵ֖נִי לְפָנֶ֣יךָ לְעוֹלָֽם׃ בָּ֘ר֤וּךְ ה' אֱלֹ֘הֵ֤י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל מֵֽ֭הָעוֹלָם וְעַ֥ד הָֽעוֹלָ֗ם אָ֘מֵ֥ן וְאָמֵֽן׃

For the conductor, a song of David. Praiseworthy is he who looks after the poor; on a day of calamity the Lord will rescue him. The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive, and he will be praised in the land, and You will not deliver him into the desire of his enemies. The Lord will support him on his sickbed; when You have transformed his entire restfulness in his illness. I said, "O Lord, be gracious to me; heal my soul because I have sinned against You." My enemies speak evil of me; "When will he die and his name be lost?" And if he comes to see [me], he speaks falsely; his heart gathers iniquity for him; when he goes outside, he talks. All my enemies whisper together about me; concerning me, they think evil. "An evil thing shall be poured into him, and once he lies down, he will no longer rise." Even my ally, in whom I trusted, who eats my bread, developed an ambush for me. But You, O Lord, be gracious to me and raise me up, so that I may repay them. With this I shall know that You desired me, when my enemy does not shout joyfully over me. As for me, because of my innocence You shall support me, and stand me up before You forever. Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel from all times past and to all times to come. Amen and amen.

2. Mishna Learning (Chapters of the Fathers 1:12)

הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, נָגֵד שְׁמָא, אָבֵד שְׁמֵהּ. וּדְלֹא מוֹסִיף, יָסֵף. וּדְלֹא יָלֵיף, קְטָלָא חַיָּב. וּדְאִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּתָגָא, חָלֵף:

He [Hillel] used to say: one who makes his name great causes his name to be destroyed; one who does not add [to his knowledge] causes [it] to cease; one who does not study [the Torah] deserves death; one who makes [unworthy] use of the crown [of learning] shall pass away.

Q: Is there an order to the four directives in the mishna?

A: It appears that the mishna is increasing in severity as it progresses—both in negative behavior and its accompanying punishment.

It begins with someone who makes their name great—who seeks out honor. Their name will be destroyed. It then proceeds to someone who doesn’t grow in knowledge. They will lose their knowledge, something more precious than a name. One who doesn’t study Torah, our “Tree of Life,” has detached themselves from life, and is “deserving of death,” an even more serious outcome.

One who doesn’t study Torah, still has the ability to come closer to Torah: they aren’t “dead,” just “deserving” of death. However, someone who misuses the Torah, they “shall pass away.” Why such a dire fate?

When someone uses the Torah for negative purposes, it is much harder for them to come back to Torah and mitzvot. I imagine this referring to a case where someone scorns the Torah or uses the Torah to assert power and control over others. The whole purpose of the Torah is to share good and elevate people. This is the opposite behavior.

Nobody knew this more than Hillel, the author of our mishna. The Torah “crowns” us with many spiritual blessings. The purpose of this is for us to share with others.

Rav Ashlag used to say that the goal of Judaism is to transform our “will to take” into a “will to give.” No easy task! Hillel, nevertheless, encourages us to strive for this level, as he, himself, teaches in the upcoming mishna: “If I am not for myself, who is for me? But if I am for my own self [only], what am I?”

We are in a time when a lot of people need help. Those with means—monetary, medical, spiritual and all other forms—must step up and mobilize these “crowns” for good. All of us have something we can do to help others, even from our “social-distanced“ homes. Let’s try to do so in this time of need. If the outcome of abusing the crown is so dire, the transverse must also be the case for those who use their crown to help others.

3. Tzedakah

Set aside tzedakah in memory and in the merit of your loved one.

Back

Ceremony in Place of Kaddish: 3/31/2020

Beth Tfiloh Dahan Community School