Ceremony in Place of Kaddish: 3/21/2020

Over the generations, our Sages have suggested many ways to help commemorate the memory of our loved ones. One central practice is the recitation of Kaddish. However, when one is unable to recite Kaddish, other potent options are also available.

It is traditional to learn Mishna in honor of the soul. This can be seen in the word Mishna משנה which contains the same letters as נשמה, the soul. Prayer is also powerful; and, of course giving tzedakah as well. Therefore, each day we will be offering this ceremony, which incorporates all three, to stand in place of kaddish--until our daily minyan resumes.  Of course, you should still daven three times a day, and are encouraged to join our daily Mincha-Maariv call-in, which will incorporate a Kel Maleh/Memorial prayer for the Yahrtzeits of the day as well as a Dvar Torah.

Open the service with a prayer (listed below) and Tehillim. Each day we will provide a different Mishna with brief commentary and guiding questions. Read the Mishna, in either  English or Hebrew… or both, and review the commentary. If it so interests you, answer the guiding questions as well. Then, set aside any amount of money for tzedakah in honor of your loved one. 
May these important mitzvot provide an עילוי נשמה, an elevation of the soul, for your loved one and help all of Am Yisrael and the world in these difficult times. 

Order of the Service

Preliminary Prayer
May my prayer, Torah learning, and tzedakah stand in the merit of _______________ b. ________________ (add the Hebrew name and the Hebrew name of their father). 
 
1. Tehillim (Psalm 51)
לַמְנַצֵּחַ, מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד. בְּבוֹא-אֵלָיו, נָתָן הַנָּבִיא כַּאֲשֶׁר-בָּא, אֶל-בַּת-שָׁבַע. חָנֵּנִי אֱלֹוהִים כְּחַסְדֶּךָ; כְּרֹב רַחֲמֶיךָ, מְחֵה פְשָׁעָי. הֶרֶב כַּבְּסֵנִי מֵעֲוֺנִי; וּמֵחַטָּאתִי טַהֲרֵנִי. כִּי-פְשָׁעַי, אֲנִי אֵדָע; וְחַטָּאתִי נֶגְדִּי תָמִיד. לְךָ לְבַדְּךָ, חָטָאתִי, וְהָרַע בְּעֵינֶיךָ, עָשִׂיתִי: לְמַעַן, תִּצְדַּק בְּדָבְרֶךָ תִּזְכֶּה בְשָׁפְטֶךָ. הֵן-בְּעָווֹן חוֹלָלְתִּי וּבְחֵטְא, יֶחֱמַתְנִי אִמִּי. הֵן-אֱמֶת, חָפַצְתָּ בַטֻּחוֹת; וּבְסָתֻם, חָכְמָה תוֹדִיעֵנִי. תְּחַטְּאֵנִי בְאֵזוֹב וְאֶטְהָר; תְּכַבְּסֵנִי, וּמִשֶּׁלֶג אַלְבִּין. תַּשְׁמִיעֵנִי, שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה; תָּגֵלְנָה, עֲצָמוֹת דִּכִּיתָ. הַסְתֵּר פָּנֶיךָ, מֵחֲטָאָי;    וְכָל-עֲוֺנֹתַי מְחֵה. לֵב טָהוֹר, בְּרָא-לִי אֱלֹוהִים; וְרוּחַ נָכוֹן, חַדֵּשׁ בְּקִרְבִּי. אַל-תַּשְׁלִיכֵנִי מִלְּפָנֶיךָ; וְרוּחַ קָדְשְׁךָ, אַל-תִּקַּח מִמֶּנִּי. הָשִׁיבָה לִּי, שְׂשׂוֹן יִשְׁעֶךָ; וְרוּחַ נְדִיבָה תִסְמְכֵנִי. אֲלַמְּדָה פֹשְׁעִים דְּרָכֶיךָ; וְחַטָּאִים, אֵלֶיךָ יָשׁוּבוּ. הַצִּילֵנִי מִדָּמִים, אֱלֹוהִים אֱלֹוהֵי תְשׁוּעָתִי: תְּרַנֵּן לְשׁוֹנִי, צִדְקָתֶךָ. אֲדֹנָי, שְׂפָתַי תִּפְתָּח; וּפִי, יַגִּיד תְּהִלָּתֶךָ. כִּי, לֹא-תַחְפֹּץ זֶבַח וְאֶתֵּנָה; עוֹלָה, לֹא תִרְצֶה. זִבְחֵי אֱלֹוהִים, רוּחַ נִשְׁבָּרָה: לֵב-נִשְׁבָּר וְנִדְכֶּה אֱלֹוהִים, לֹא תִבְזֶה. הֵיטִיבָה בִרְצוֹנְךָ, אֶת-צִיּוֹן; תִּבְנֶה, חוֹמוֹת יְרוּשָׁלִָם. אָז תַּחְפֹּץ זִבְחֵי-צֶדֶק, עוֹלָה וְכָלִיל; אָז יַעֲלוּ עַל-מִזְבַּחֲךָ פָרִים.

For the conductor, a song of David. When Nathan the prophet came to him when he went to Bath-sheba. Be gracious to me, O God, according to Your kindness; according to Your great mercies, erase my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly of my iniquity, and purify me of my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against You alone have I sinned, and I have done what is evil in Your sight, in order that You be justified in Your conduct, and right in Your judgment. Behold, with iniquity I was formed, and with sin my mother conceived me. Behold, You desired that truth be in the hidden places, and in the concealed part You teach me wisdom. Purify me with a hyssop, and I will become pure; wash me, and I will become whiter than snow. Make me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that You crushed exult. Hide Your countenance from my sins, and erase all my iniquities. Create for me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me away from before You, and do not take Your holy spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of Your salvation, and let a noble spirit support me. I will teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners will return to You. Save me from blood, O God, the God of my salvation; let my tongue sing praises of Your charity. O Lord, You shall open my lips, and my mouth will recite Your praise. For You do not wish a sacrifice, or I should give it; You do not desire a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; O God, You will not despise a broken and crushed heart. With Your will, do good to Zion; build the walls of Jerusalem. Then You will desire sacrifices of righteousness, a burnt offering and a whole offering; then they will offer up bulls on Your altar.

2. Mishna Learning (Chapters of the Fathers 1, 1-3)
On weekends, we will review the Mishnas from the week. It’s always good to go over the material and arrive at new understandings and interpretations. Learn one Mishna or more!

Chapters of the Fathers 1, 1

משֶׁה קִבֵּל תּוֹרָה מִסִּינַי, וּמְסָרָהּ לִיהוֹשֻׁעַ, וִיהוֹשֻׁעַ לִזְקֵנִים, וּזְקֵנִים לִנְבִיאִים, וּנְבִיאִים מְסָרוּהָ לְאַנְשֵׁי כְנֶסֶת הַגְּדוֹלָה. הֵם אָמְרוּ שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים, הֱווּ מְתוּנִים בַּדִּין, וְהַעֲמִידוּ תַלְמִידִים הַרְבֵּה, וַעֲשׂוּ סְיָג לַתּוֹרָה:

Moses received the Torah at (lit. from) Sinai and transmitted it to Joshua, Joshua to the elders, and the elders to the prophets, and the prophets to the Men of the Great Assembly. They said three things: Be patient in [the administration of] justice, raise up many disciples, and make a fence around the Torah.

Q: According to the Mishna, Moshe received Torah מסיני, which means “from Sinai.” It should have read בסיני, “at Sinai.” Why this unique language?

A: It hints to Moshe’s humility, a prerequisite for learning and transmitting Torah. Moshe received Torah “from a place of Sinai,” of humility. The Sages share that Sinai was the lowest of all mountains. To truly ensure the proper transmission of our tradition from generation to generation, we must humble ourselves and accept what those before us have to share. As a Modern Orthodox community, we are always looking forward, toward new discoveries and innovations. However, we must always remember to remain humble and listen to the words of Torah. This will ensure that the Torah continues to live within us, even as new generations enter the world.

Q: The language used in the continuation is “raise up many disciples.” Why not just say “teach many disciples”?

A: The reason is that in education it is not enough to just “teach,” transfer knowledge. We must encourage our students to stand on their own two feet and implement the teachings on their own. The Mishna asks us to “raise up many disciples,” so that they are able, on their own, to live a full life based on Torah values. (This is true at home and at the workplace, also.)

Chapters of the Fathers 1, 2

שִׁמְעוֹן הַצַּדִּיק הָיָה מִשְּׁיָרֵי כְנֶסֶת הַגְּדוֹלָה. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, עַל שְׁלשָׁה דְבָרִים הָעוֹלָם עוֹמֵד, עַל הַתּוֹרָה וְעַל הָעֲבוֹדָה וְעַל גְּמִילוּת חֲסָדִים:

Shimon the Righteous was one of the last of the men of the great assembly. He used to say: the world stands upon three things: the Torah, the Temple service/prayer, and acts of loving-kindness.

Q: Why did Shimon the Righteous choose these three?

A: These three point to three areas in which we serve HaShem: in relation to ourselves, HaShem, and others. In Hebrew, this is called בין אדם לעצמו, לה׳, ולחברו. Learning Torah corrects the individual; the Temple service, with all it entails, is pointed directly to HaShem; and acts of loving-kindness are performed with others. We must be strong on all three fronts.

Interestingly, this is also hinted to in our Rosh Hashanah davening. In the U’Netana Tokef prayer we proclaim: “teshuvah/repentance (self), tefilla/prayer (HaShem), and tzedakah (others) remove an evil decree.”

It’s good to think how we can be involved today on all three fronts, even while many of us are in quarantine. We can always learn more and pray harder, especially with our new-found time. We can also perform kindnesses with others: make phone calls to those who may be lonely and send out emails and texts to let people know we are thinking of them. In terms of Tzedakah, there are many who don’t have the most basic of supplies and food items to get through an extended quarantine period. Let’s be generous and find ways to support each other. The world “stands” upon this!

Q: Why didn’t “the mitzvot” make it into this “top three” list?

A: The concept of mitzvot is a general category. It includes all three of these actions. Therefore, it couldn’t be on the list of these three specific mitzvot.

Alternatively, the Maharal explains that the Torah is spiritual: its learning is done in one’s mind and it doesn’t engage all of the body. The mitzvot, on the other hand, involve the body: eating matzah, putting on tefillin, lighting candles. Prayer is also something spiritual.

When listing things upon which the world “stands,” the author of the Mishna discusses mostly spiritual matters. If the topic was, “Through which three things is the world corrected and/or elevated?” it would have gone into specific details that deal with the body and our physical world. 

Chapters of the Fathers 1, 3

אַנְטִיגְנוֹס אִישׁ סוֹכוֹ קִבֵּל מִשִּׁמְעוֹן הַצַּדִּיק. הוּא הָיָה אוֹמֵר, אַל תִּהְיוּ כַעֲבָדִים הַמְשַׁמְּשִׁין אֶת הָרַב עַל מְנָת לְקַבֵּל פְּרָס, אֶלָּא הֱווּ כַעֲבָדִים הַמְשַׁמְּשִׁין אֶת הָרַב שֶׁלֹּא עַל מְנָת לְקַבֵּל פְּרָס, וִיהִי מוֹרָא שָׁמַיִם עֲלֵיכֶם:

Antigonus, a man of Socho, received [the oral tradition] from Shimon the Righteous. He used to say: do not be like servants who serve the master in the expectation of receiving a reward, but be like servants who serve the master without the expectation of receiving a reward, and let the fear of Heaven be upon you.

Q: If I can’t serve HaShem without the desire to receive some sort of benefit or reward, is my service unworthy?

A: Of course not! Judaism is not an all or nothing religion. This source points to the ideal level of worship, where we serve without expectation of reward or punishment.

The hope is that through this service one will eventually arrive at a higher level of worship. What is this higher level? In this state, love of reward and fear of punishment are replaced with genuine appreciation of and reverence for HaShem (Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Yesodei HaTorah 2, 2; Mesilat Yesharim ch. 24).

In Hasidic literature, this level is defined not as a servant but rather as a child. In an ideal state, a child loves and appreciates their parents and wants to help and serve them out of love. Similarly, at this level fear of punishment is replaced with reverence and genuine respect.

This enhanced level of worship may be alluded to in the conclusion of Antigonus’ directive: “and let the fear of Heaven be upon you” (see Tos. Yom Tov). Maimonides famously explains that the path to arriving at this level is by means of observing nature: “What is the path to attain love and fear of God? When a person contemplates His wondrous and great deeds and creations and appreciates His infinite wisdom that surpasses all comparison, he will immediately love, praise, and glorify Him, yearning with tremendous desire to know God's great name, as David stated: "My soul thirsts for the Lord, for the living God" (Psalms 42:3).

Surely the discipline of astronomy and the deep reverence it engenders, i.e. the “fear of Heaven” mentioned in Antigonus’ words, is included in these “wondrous and great deeds and creations” that we are asked to observe. Thus, one could read Antigonus’ words in the following manner: while it is okay to serve HaShem for personal benefit, one must always strive for higher levels of worship. These levels can be achieved through observing nature and the heavens above.

May we merit to elevate our fear, especially in these trying and fearful times, to true fear of Heaven and may we all experience the love “and thirst for the Lord” so eloquently described in Maimonides’ words.

Q: Why did Antoginus use the word פרס to depict reward instead of the commonly used שכר?

A: פרס alludes to a prize. Perhaps, and this is a different direction than what was just listed, it is perfectly okay to serve HaShem for reward שכר. This is based on our belief in HaShem’s faithfulness to reward those who live a Torah life. What is discouraged here, however, is the service of HaShem for an extra prize--when one expects to receive more than one deserves. To be sure, HaShem does “give out” unconditional “prizes” and blessings. Nevertheless, expecting these can lead to complacency and a diminished work ethic, which is not the Torah way.

Q: What else can the final words of Antigonus teach us?

A: One might take Antigonus’ opening statement to the extreme and come to the conclusion that there is no reward and punishment. Therefore, his final statement comes to temper this, reminding us to not forget fear of HaShem, our just and faithful God.

3. Tzedakah
We refrain from giving tzedakah on Shabbat.
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Beth Tfiloh Dahan Community School

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Baltimore’s only Jewish independent preparatory school serving PreSchool through Grade 12.