Ceremony in Place of Kaddish: 3/27/2020

Over the generations, our Sages have suggested many ways to help commemorate the memory of our loved ones. One central practice is the recitation of Kaddish. However, when one is unable to recite Kaddish, other potent options are also available.

It is traditional to learn Mishna in honor of the soul. This can be seen in the word Mishna משנה which contains the same letters as נשמה, the soul. Prayer is also powerful; and, of course giving tzedakah as well. Therefore, each day we will be offering this ceremony, which incorporates all three, to stand in place of kaddish--until our daily minyan resumes.  Of course, you should still daven three times a day, and are encouraged to join our daily Mincha-Maariv call-in, which will incorporate a Kel Maleh/Memorial prayer for the Yahrtzeits of the day as well as a Dvar Torah.

Open the service with a prayer (listed below) and Tehillim. Each day we will provide a different Mishna with brief commentary and guiding questions. Read the Mishna, in either  English or Hebrew… or both, and review the commentary. If it so interests you, answer the guiding questions as well. Then, set aside any amount of money for tzedakah in honor of your loved one. 

May these important mitzvot provide an עילוי נשמה, an elevation of the soul, for your loved one and help all of Am Yisrael and the world in these difficult times.
 

May my prayer, Torah learning, and tzedakah stand in the merit of _______________ b. ________________ (add the Hebrew name and the Hebrew name of their father). 
 

שִׁיר הַמַּעֲלוֹת מִמַּעֲמַקִּים קְרָאתִיךָ ה'. אֲדֹנָי, שִׁמְעָה בְקוֹלִי, תִּהְיֶינָה אָזְנֶיךָ קַשֻּׁבוֹת לְקוֹל תַּחֲנוּנָי. אִם עֲו‍ֹנוֹת תִּשְׁמָר יָהּ, אֲדֹנָי, מִי יַעֲמֹד. כִּי-עִמְּךָ הַסְּלִיחָה לְמַעַן תִּוָּרֵא. קִוִּיתִי ה' קִוְּתָה נַפְשִׁי וְלִדְבָרוֹ הוֹחָלְתִּי. נַפְשִׁי לַאדֹנָי מִשֹּׁמְרִים לַבֹּקֶר, שֹׁמְרִים לַבֹּקֶר. יַחֵל יִשְׂרָאֵל אֶל ה', כִּי עִם ה' הַחֶסֶד וְהַרְבֵּה עִמּוֹ פְדוּת. וְהוּא יִפְדֶּה אֶת-יִשְׂרָאֵל מִכֹּל עֲו‍ֹנֹתָיו.

A song of ascents. Out of the depths I call you, Lord. Lord, listen to my cry, let your ears be attentive to my supplicative plea. If you preserve the account of sins, God, Lord who can survive? Pardon resides with You, so that you are held in awe. I hope for the Lord, my soul hopes, I await God’s word. I yearn more for the Lord than guards for the morning, guards for the morning. Israel, wait for the Lord, for with the Lord is kindness and great redemption. And it is God Who will redeem Israel from all its iniquities.

2. Mishna Learning (Chapters of the Fathers 1, 11)

אַבְטַלְיוֹן אוֹמֵר, חֲכָמִים, הִזָּהֲרוּ בְדִבְרֵיכֶם, שֶׁמָּא תָחוּבוּ חוֹבַת גָּלוּת וְתִגְלוּ לִמְקוֹם מַיִם הָרָעִים, וְיִשְׁתּוּ הַתַּלְמִידִים הַבָּאִים אַחֲרֵיכֶם וְיָמוּתוּ, וְנִמְצָא שֵׁם שָׁמַיִם מִתְחַלֵּל:

Abtalion used to say: Sages be careful with your words, lest the penalty of exile be incurred, and you be carried off to a place of evil waters, and the disciples who follow you drink and die, and thus the name of heaven becomes profaned.

Q: What is the connection between not being careful with one’s word and the penalty of exile?

A: The Torah is eternal. However, Its applications and teachings must be adapted to fit each generation’s needs and personality. This is important for rabbis to understand. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. When I first started as a rabbi, I thought that I could teach Torah in the same manner in which I delivered lectures (from time to time) in university. Boy, was I wrong! Teaching an academic lecture and a Torah class are different things. 

When I first got going, I would simply read off the material to my listeners. People started to fall asleep! Academics and synagogue attendees don’t always have the same interests and styles of learning. That’s when I realized I must tailor my teachings specifically to my crowd and make the information engaging and accessible. Now, my congregants don’t sleep (well, aside from my high schoolers…) and the classes are lively. 

This is the message of the Mishna: rabbis, be careful to adapt your words to your audience! If not, you will lose their interest, “the penalty of exile will be incurred,” and they won’t grow properly in Torah. 

This is a very relevant message for us as parents, grandparents, and educators. What worked for us when we were younger, doesn’t always fit for today’s generation. It’s important for us to figure out what their interests are, even if this takes a bit of time, so we can relate to them on their level. When we do this, we have better chances of influencing them and keeping them connected to our heritage.

Q: How do we explain the chain of events in the Mishna: 1) not being careful with words, 2) exile, 3) being carried off to a place of evil waters, 4) disciples who follow drink and die, 5) name of heaven is profaned. 

A: Rabbi Kook (1865-1935) witnessed a lot of heresy in his days. Unlike many of his rabbinic colleagues, he wasn’t overly critical of these individuals. The opposite was the case.. He looked for the inner good in what he saw. One of his famous quotes highlights this: “The truly righteous [lit., the pure righteous ones] do not complain about evil, but rather add justice; they do not complain about heresy, but rather add faith; they do not complain about ignorance, but rather add wisdom.” 

His way of “adding faith” as a response to the heresy was to offer a Torah that connected with the new generation. In particular, he thought that the new generation needed big ideas to inspire them. Many rabbis in his generation didn’t “get” that this was one of the causes of the heresty. As a result, Rav Kook produced some of the more awesome Torah, with an emphasis on national pride, universalism, and so much more. This brought many Jews closer to Torah and due to his efforts a whole movement was formed in Israel: the National Religious movement. 

This is one way to read the Mishna: if we do not provide an uplifting Torah, filled with inspirational messages (=not being careful with words), our generation will leave the fold (=exile) and entertain heretical messages (=place of evil waters). Then it will cause a chain effect and people will think this is all the Torah has to offer and continue in these heretical ways, suffering spiritually (=disciples follow, drink, and die). Instead of adding faith, the opposite occurred: they steered away from our faith (=name of heaven was desecrated). 

I think Rav Kook’s guidance is still relevant for us today. We must show our generation that there are amazing things and lofty ideas in our sacred religion. When we do so, we will be adding faith, strengthening their connection to our heritage,  and sanctifying the name of heaven.

3. Tzedakah

Set aside tzedakah in memory and in the merit of your loved one.