Ceremony in Place of Kaddish: 3/29/2020

Over the generations, our Sages have suggested many ways to help commemorate the memory of our loved ones. One central practice is the recitation of Kaddish. However, when one is unable to recite Kaddish, other potent options are also available.

It is traditional to learn Mishna in honor of the soul. This can be seen in the word Mishna משנה which contains the same letters as נשמה, the soul. Prayer is also powerful; and, of course giving tzedakah as well. Therefore, each day we will be offering this ceremony, which incorporates all three, to stand in place of kaddish--until our daily minyan resumes.  Of course, you should still daven three times a day, and are encouraged to join our daily Mincha-Maariv call-in, which will incorporate a Kel Maleh/Memorial prayer for the Yahrtzeits of the day as well as a Dvar Torah.

Open the service with a prayer (listed below) and Tehillim. Each day we will provide a different Mishna with brief commentary and guiding questions. Read the Mishna, in either  English or Hebrew… or both, and review the commentary. If it so interests you, answer the guiding questions as well. Then, set aside any amount of money for tzedakah in honor of your loved one. 

May these important mitzvot provide an עילוי נשמה, an elevation of the soul, for your loved one and help all of Am Yisrael and the world in these difficult times. 

May my prayer, Torah learning, and tzedakah stand in the merit of _______________ b. ________________ (add the Hebrew name and the Hebrew name of their father).
  

לַמְנַצֵּ֗חַ מִזְמ֥וֹר לְדָוִֽד׃ אַ֭שְׁרֵי מַשְׂכִּ֣יל אֶל־דָּ֑ל בְּי֥וֹם רָ֝עָ֗ה יְֽמַלְּטֵ֥הוּ ה'׃ ה' יִשְׁמְרֵ֣הוּ וִֽ֭יחַיֵּהוּ יאשר (וְאֻשַּׁ֣ר) בָּאָ֑רֶץ וְאַֽל־תִּ֝תְּנֵ֗הוּ בְּנֶ֣פֶשׁ אֹֽיְבָֽיו׃ ה' יִ֭סְעָדֶנּוּ עַל־עֶ֣רֶשׂ דְּוָ֑י כָּל־מִ֝שְׁכָּב֗וֹ הָפַ֥כְתָּ בְחָלְיֽוֹ׃ אֲֽנִי־אָ֭מַרְתִּי ה' חָנֵּ֑נִי רְפָאָ֥ה נַ֝פְשִׁ֗י כִּֽי־חָטָ֥אתִי לָֽךְ׃ אֽוֹיְבַ֗י יֹֽאמְר֣וּ רַ֣ע לִ֑י    מָתַ֥י יָ֝מ֗וּת וְאָבַ֥ד שְׁמֽוֹ׃ וְאִם־בָּ֤א לִרְא֨וֹת שָׁ֤וְא יְדַבֵּ֗ר לִבּ֗וֹ יִקְבָּץ־אָ֥וֶן ל֑וֹ יֵצֵ֖א לַח֣וּץ יְדַבֵּֽר׃ יַ֗חַד עָלַ֣י יִ֭תְלַֽחֲשׁוּ כָּל־שֹֽׂנְאָ֑י עָלַ֓י יַחְשְׁב֖וּ רָעָ֣ה לִֽי׃ דְּֽבַר־בְּ֭לִיַּעַל יָצ֣וּק בּ֑וֹ וַֽאֲשֶׁ֥ר שָׁ֝כַ֗ב לֹֽא־יוֹסִ֥יף לָקֽוּם׃ גַּם־אִ֤ישׁ שְׁלוֹמִ֨י אֲשֶׁר־בָּטַ֣חְתִּי ב֭וֹ אוֹכֵ֣ל לַחְמִ֑י הִגְדִּ֖יל עָלַ֣י עָקֵֽב׃ וְאַתָּ֤ה ה' חָנֵּ֥נִי וַֽהֲקִימֵ֑נִי וַֽאֲשַׁלְּמָ֥ה לָהֶֽם׃ בְּזֹ֣את יָ֭דַעְתִּי כִּֽי־חָפַ֣צְתָּ בִּ֑י כִּ֤י לֹֽא־יָרִ֖יעַ אֹֽיְבִ֣י עָלָֽי׃ וַֽאֲנִ֗י בְּ֭תֻמִּי תָּמַ֣כְתָּ בִּ֑י וַתַּצִּיבֵ֖נִי לְפָנֶ֣יךָ לְעוֹלָֽם׃ בָּ֘ר֤וּךְ ה' אֱלֹ֘הֵ֤י יִשְׂרָאֵ֗ל מֵֽ֭הָעוֹלָם וְעַ֥ד הָֽעוֹלָ֗ם אָ֘מֵ֥ן וְאָמֵֽן׃

For the conductor, a song of David. Praiseworthy is he who looks after the poor; on a day of calamity the Lord will rescue him. The Lord will preserve him and keep him alive, and he will be praised in the land, and You will not deliver him into the desire of his enemies. The Lord will support him on his sickbed; when You have transformed his entire restfulness in his illness. I said, "O Lord, be gracious to me; heal my soul because I have sinned against You." My enemies speak evil of me; "When will he die and his name be lost?" And if he comes to see [me], he speaks falsely; his heart gathers iniquity for him; when he goes outside, he talks. All my enemies whisper together about me; concerning me, they think evil. "An evil thing shall be poured into him, and once he lies down, he will no longer rise." Even my ally, in whom I trusted, who eats my bread, developed an ambush for me. But You, O Lord, be gracious to me and raise me up, so that I may repay them. With this I shall know that You desired me, when my enemy does not shout joyfully over me. As for me, because of my innocence You shall support me, and stand me up before You forever. Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel from all times past and to all times to come. Amen and amen.

2. Mishna Learning (Chapters of the Fathers 1, 10-11)

On weekends, we will review the mishnas from the week. It’s always good to go over the material and arrive at new understandings and interpretations. Learn one mishna or more! 

שְׁמַעְיָה וְאַבְטַלְיוֹן קִבְּלוּ מֵהֶם. שְׁמַעְיָה אוֹמֵר, אֱהֹב אֶת הַמְּלָאכָה, וּשְׂנָא אֶת הָרַבָּנוּת, וְאַל תִּתְוַדַּע לָרָשׁוּת:

Shemaiah and Avtalion received [the oral tradition] from them. Shemaiah used to say: love work, hate acting the superior, and do not attempt to draw near to the ruling authority.

Q: Shemaiah and Avtalion apparently promoted working and earning an honest living: “Love work!”  Is this a minority view or a central theme in Jewish texts?

A: A simple answer is that it depends on which rabbi you ask. Those in the Modern Orthodox camp tend to highlight these texts more than those in the Ultra-Orthodox camp. 

In truth, however, if you scan our texts throughout the ages, you will find many pointing to the need to earn a livelihood (but maybe this is just the view of this Modern Orthodox author...). There is a debate between Rabbi Yishmael and Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai in Tractate Berachot 35b on whether one should work or learn all day. In the end, it seems Rabbi Yishmael, who was pro-work, won, at least as a general guideline for the public. 

The Gemara says that many tried like Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, to learn all day, and did not succeed. From here we may infer this is not a proper path for the general public (but surely it is praiseworthy for those individuals who can  do so).
 

Q: Why is it so important to “love” work?

A: There are various answers to this question.

On another level, the more we work, the more mitzvot we can perform with the money we earned. I have a friend who prays to Hashem for extra work so that he can have more money to give to tzedakah. This is a praiseworthy way of approaching work. For these reasons and more we should love work! 

אַבְטַלְיוֹן אוֹמֵר, חֲכָמִים, הִזָּהֲרוּ בְדִבְרֵיכֶם, שֶׁמָּא תָחוּבוּ חוֹבַת גָּלוּת וְתִגְלוּ לִמְקוֹם מַיִם הָרָעִים, וְיִשְׁתּוּ הַתַּלְמִידִים הַבָּאִים אַחֲרֵיכֶם וְיָמוּתוּ, וְנִמְצָא שֵׁם שָׁמַיִם מִתְחַלֵּל:

Abtalion used to say: Sages be careful with your words, lest the penalty of exile be incurred, and you be carried off to a place of evil waters, and the disciples who follow you drink and die, and thus the name of heaven becomes profaned.

Q: What is the connection between not being careful with one’s word and the penalty of exile?

A: The Torah is eternal. However, Its applications and teachings must be adapted to fit each generation’s needs and personality. This is important for rabbis to understand. Unfortunately, I had to learn this the hard way. When I first started as a rabbi I thought that I could teach Torah like I taught lectures (from time to time) in university. Boy, was I wrong! Teaching an academic lecture and a Torah class are different things. When I first got going I would simply read off the material. People fell asleep! That’s when I realized I must tailor it specifically to my crowd and make the information engaging and accessible. Now, my congregants don’t sleep (well, aside from my high schoolers…) and the classes are lively. 

This is the message of the Mishna: rabbis, be careful to adapt your words to your crowd! If not, you will lose their interest, “the penalty of exile will be incurred,” and they won’t grow properly in Torah. 

This is a very relevant message for us as parents, grandparents, and educators. What worked for us when we were younger, doesn’t always fit for today’s generation. It’s important to figure out what their interests are, even if this takes a bit of time, so we can relate to them on their level. When we do this, we have better chances of influencing and keeping them connected to our heritage.

Q: How do we explain the chain of events in the Mishna: 1) not being careful with words, 2) exile, 3) being carried off to a place of evil waters, 4) disciples who follow drink and die, 5) name of heaven is profaned.
 

A: Rabbi Kook (1865-1935) witnessed a lot of heresy in his days. Unlike many of his rabbinic colleagues, he wasn’t overly critical. He looked for the inner good in what he saw. One of his famous quotes highlights this: “The truly righteous [lit., the pure righteous ones] do not complain about evil, but rather add justice; they do not complain about heresy, but rather add faith; they do not complain about ignorance, but rather add wisdom.” His way of “adding faith” as a response to the heresy was to offer a Torah that connected with the new generation, similar to what was written above. In particular, he thought that the new generation needed big ideas to inspire them. Some rabbis of his generation were not getting this and this was causing the heresty. As a result, Rav Kook produced some of the more awesome Torah - with an emphasis on national pride, universalism, and so much more. This brought many Jews closer to Torah and due to his efforts a whole movement was formed in Israel: the National Religious movement. 

This is one way to read the Mishna: if we do not provide an uplifting Torah, filled with inspirational messages (=not being careful with words), our generation will leave the fold (=exile) and take in heretical messages (place of evil waters). Then it will cause a chain effect and people will think this is all the Torah has to offer and continue in these heretical ways and suffer spiritually (disciples follow, drink, and die). Instead of adding faith, we allowed them to steer away from the faith and the name of heaven is desecrated.
 

I think Rav Kook’s guidance is still relevant. We must show that there are amazing things and ideas in our sacred religion. When we do so, we will be adding faith and sanctifying the name of heaven.

3. Tzedakah

Set aside tzedakah in memory and in the merit of your loved one.